18 months ago I became a mother. 18 months ago I was lying in a hospital bed cradling the tiniest little human in my arms, those moments unexplainable through words, utterly surreal.
Feeling bewildered and a little green around the gills, I shoved my building anxiety in a drawer and, like I always did when any obstacles surfaced, buried it, kept marching on, and tried to forget about it.
The adrenaline I was high on began to fade that same evening, and the nervous anxiety slowly crept its way into my mind. I was sat alone with Arthur, shaking, fighting not to fall apart in the swamp of realization and reality and the comedown. In love but terrified, in company of a fresh out the bun baby but so alone. Inexplicably happy but exceptionally depressed all the same.