First-time mum, in training. Blogging about this motherhood malarkey from a refreshingly honest perspective.

One for The Dads

With the arrival of a new baby, a lot of the time Dads can feel a little clueless and unsure of what to do to help. Here a few suggestions on how to aid your partner in those early days:

Help Her Out/Don't Keep Score

She doesn't need a summation on how many nappies you've changed; that you did the night feed on Tuesday or that time you watched baby for an hour so she could do the food shop stress free. It's not a competition. Whether it's going a walk in the pram with baby so she can have some time for herself for a while or taking a shift so she can get caught up on some zzzz, offer to lend a hand.

Listen

This is so important. Being a new parent is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. It can also be very lonely and overwhelming. Let her vent to you about how she is feeling. Be her shoulder to cry on. If she wants to continuously moan about how little sleep she got or how her stretch marks won't fade despite the 2000 applications of bio oil, don't get frustrated. She'll be looking to you for support and reassurance. 

Shut up about Sex!

Doing the deed is the last thing on her mind. She's emotional, sleep deprived and the horrific flashbacks of contractions, leaking fluid and a crowning baby are replaying in her mind. She really doesn't need to hear how long it's been for YOU or that you feel neglected. Right now, her full focus is Operation Baby. It does not mean she loves you any less. Putting pressure on her will only further drive her away. Give it time. Sex is off the cards and her vagina is out of order - indefinitely.

Do The Bloody Dishes

A foreign concept this may be. Offer a hand around the house, WITHOUT being asked. Run to the shop when the milks ran out (Tip:pick her up some chocolates and flowers while you're there just because), work through the pile of laundry making a home on the kitchen floor, do the damn dishes! Take a load off her mind so that when baby is finally in bed, she can take that time to relax and recoup (i.e. eat a meal uninterrupted (that perhaps you made for her) and catch up on Corrie. You get the idea, right?



Be Her Rock


With fluctuating hormones going AWOL, sleep deprivation and trying to recover from labour while adjusting to a newborn, she's going to be feeling vulnerable, overwhelmed and more emotional than ever. If this is her first, she will be constantly doubting herself, worrying she isn't doing it right and on the days where baby just won't settle, asking herself, 'what the hell am I doing wrong?' Assure her that she's doing an amazing job and tell her how proud you are. Be there to take over when she needs some rest; comfort her; compliment her... BE HER ROCK!

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