First time mum/referee/ sleeve snot wiper to a wild toddler. Designated household bum changer. Blogging about this motherhood malarkey from a refreshingly honest and unfiltered perspective.

6 Things You Don't Say to Angry Pregnant Women

This is something I know a lot of expecting mums will relate to; from start to finish. As if you're not already overly irritated by everything and a constant weepy hormonal mess, some people just push you over the edge.
I still remember being near the end of my pregnancy. I was huge, exhausted, and so bloody fed up of people constantly asking me the same things over and over. It went from being repetitive to extremely annoying and there were times I would accidentally roll my eyes when I got asked the same question for the hundredth time that day.
Here are the six questions not to ask: 
(really, don't we might eat you.)

#1 Was it planned? 
I will never understand how people think this is an appropriate question to outright ask a couple. 
Answer: None of your damn business. If she chooses to share this very personal information then she will do so, however, if nothing is mentioned then you don't ask!  
Besides, does it really matter if she spent each month marking the specific dates on her calendar for her and the hubby to get down and dirty? Or whether she accidentally slipped up and missed Thursdays birth control? She is announcing this exciting news so others can share in this wonderful new chapter of her life not gossip on what her favourite sex position is. 

#2 Are you sure there’s only one in there?! 
funny baby pregnancy meme
YES!! After the numerous, scans, she is utterly confident that there is in fact, just one baby in there. Great observation on her uncontrollable, rapid weight gain, how nice of you to indirectly comment on how she looks like a baby whale with arms and legs, she's not already feeling extremely self-conscious as she watches her body change and grow as it occupies the little person growing in her belly. 

#3 You’re so neat/big! 
Funny-Illustrations-Pregnancy-Struggles (2)Yet another inane remark we get so sick of listening too. Comments such as, ‘There’s no way you’re seven months pregnant.’, ‘You’re tiny.’ or, "Are you sure it's not twins?", "Wow, you're massive!"
Whether she is the size of a malteaser or a massive bowling ball, every woman carries differently. We are all different shapes and sizes. No one pregnancy will look the same. So please do not raise her anxiety by worrying her and commenting on how she 'should' look.

12963440_10154462301011165_2218588971235517268_n.png#4 Can I feel your belly? 
One of the most irritating things another person could do to an achy, heavily pregnant woman who wants nothing more than to eat chocolate all day and cry about how sore she is.  
Asking if you can feel for kicks is without a doubt preferable to being pounced at by a crowd of sweaty palms. She is not a cute little puppy, she does not want to be petted. If her baby kicks and she would like you to feel, trust me she'll offer! 

#5 You are going to breastfeed, aren’t you? 
Yes, no, perhaps.... What does it matter anyway? Why is it always made to feel like added pressure? She's rented her womb for 9 months, dealt with nausea, back pain and bladder incontinence. With the knowledge she then has to squeeze a watermelon out of a grape. She doesn't need to feel like she must stick her baby on the boob.
There is just far too much pressure today on breastfeeding. Whether she is unable to breastfeed or simply decides it’s just not something she wants to do, that is completely her own decision and should be respected without judgement. She's done enough. 
Her body, her choice. 
Fed is best! 

#6 Have you had your baby yet? 
Gahhhhhh!!! So, picture this you’re overdue, the size of a planet, exhausted, sore and hormonal, what’s the one thing you want to hear?  
'Any sign of this baby yet? 
'That baby is just too comfy in there,' 
'I wish this baby would hurry up.’ 
Oh, how terrible it must be for you waiting for this babies' arrival. I do apologize for the inconvenience and keeping you, all waiting. How terrible agony this must be causing you. 
P**s off!!! 
No, her baby is not here yet. Yes, she really wishes they would hurry up and make an appearance too, before one more bloody stretch mark etches itself on her hips. Or she has to get up to pee one more time. She would love to be able to breathe properly again and not toss and turn the entire night. 
It’s not classified information, rest assured when her baby arrives YOU WILL KNOW. When, and how, she chooses to tell you. 


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