First time mum/referee/ sleeve snot wiper to a wild toddler. Designated household bum changer. Blogging about this motherhood malarkey from a refreshingly honest and unfiltered perspective.

So What if you... People Don't Preach!

I've found myself over my parenting journey constantly feeling my choices as a parent need a rationale explaining - Why I didn't breastfeed, why Arthur is still in my room at one year old.
Or justifying why I feel the way I do - 
"I think being a mum can be pretty lonely and pretty shit at times but I wouldn't change a thing, I do love him so much.",
"He doesn't usually get ice cream for dinner but he's teething and it helps cool his mouth down."

I think we readily await to be shunned by others on what we say or do or feel and expect them to need justification on our choices, reasoning, feelings. We continue to doubt our own ability as parents, always fretting we're getting it wrong and therefore get defensive when someone questions our actions.

So what if you co-sleep and your kiddo has been squished in beside you every night for the last five months with no promise of a bed time routine in sight.
Yes, I'm positive you are aware of the potential risks, that it'll be almost impossible when the time comes to get them OUT of your bed into their own bed independently and you'll forever be waking up in between feeds to make sure they have't accidentally nose dived off the bed. 
However, maybe that's the only way you can catch some uninterrupted zzz each night and are able to function the following day to be able to look after your little ones. Maybe you just can't bare their cries when you attempt to self soothe them in their own crib, or perhaps, you just want to soak up those cuddles for as long as they give them. Do what works for you and your family.

So you chose to formula feed because your tits were aching, because you were exhausted from the solo night feeds, because the baby was never not attached to your cracked nipples, because the mastitis was unbearable or because it just wasn't for you. Good on you for doing whats best for YOU. You don't need to explain to anyone the reasoning behind your own decisions. 

I chose not to breastfeed. I am unaware of whether or not it was something I was able to do. Because I didn't even give it a go. Because breast is not best. Fed is. Because I was reaaally fucking tired, because I was overwhelmed having just given birth to an almost nine pound baby, because everything ached, and a baby chewing my boobs all day didn't appeal to me (FYI Arthur and I still bonded perfectly through plenty of loving cuddles) and because I'd have rather gone through labour five times over than have my tits spraying colostrum like fucking water pistols none stop.

So you bought ready made jar food for the upcoming week instead of making anything homemade because who has the time and you're so bloody tired and quite frankly, really can't be arsed wasting an hour - that could be a potential nap opportunity - organizing meals for the week.

So you fed your kid a McDonald's yesterday, the week before and probably some time again soon because... well because they bloody wanted one, because the happy meal comes with a cool toy, and  because they would scream like a little shit if they did not get said happy meal and today was just not a day you had the energy to fight about it. (TOP TIP: pick your battles mum's, pick your bloody battles.)
They'll live to see another day. I'm sure they'll get their greens with dinner, so fuck off Susan from baby group who only gives her kid carrot sticks as a treat and feed those kids a damn chicken nugget once in a while. 

So you shoved your hyper nine month old in front of the TV, left to be entertained by Mr. Tumble and Mister Maker because it gives you peace to indulge in another coffee, to grab a snack, to sit down and get five minutes to scroll through your Facebook feed. They won't turn into unintelligible, roaming zombies. Their brains won't melt to mush. They'll still get good grades at school.

So you lost your patience in the middle of the supermarket after tantrum number six of the day and screamed at your baby for being a little shit when all you wanted was an hour without tears to buy the bare essentials and treat yourself to something nice. They were being a little shit, not on purpose, but still a little shit nonetheless. It's hard this parenting job, and you're doing the best you can. It's okay to lose your shit sometimes. Give yourself a break. 

So lets stop with the preachy bullshit. Lets stop silently worrying everyone is judging us for our parenting choices. Lets stop feeling the need to clarify our decisions and be confident in our choices as parents.

We're all doing the best we can, and doing what we can to muddle through. Just do you.

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