First time mum/referee/ sleeve snot wiper to a wild toddler. Designated household bum changer. Blogging about this motherhood malarkey from a refreshingly honest and unfiltered perspective.

you can get through anything

It can be easy to feel like nothing in your life will get better when you've spent so much of it plagued with hardship or sorrow. That all you are designed for is pain and loss and agony. There's so much you have yet to experience and in that bleak pit of despair it can be difficult to surmise that light could shine through. It's impossible to grip onto hope that barely glimmers in your direction when the pain feels like its ripping your bones apart.

Find peace in the small things not in ideals, in the perception of someone else or materialistic values. Visit a place so wondrous, soak up it's beauty and the serenity. Allow the fresh air to engulf your lungs and in that small moment be filled with a sense of tranquility.
Indulge in a chocolate cake so rich it sets your taste buds alight. Savour a whiskey so smooth it slithers down your throat.
Take in that bitter crisp air on a winter morning. Love so hard it makes your heart hurt at the sheer thought of it's absence. 

The heartbreak that has shattered your heart will slowly begin to heal. The demons that cripple your mind will slowly begin to lose grip and, although, the grief, the loss, the anguish may feel crushing, although it may seem like life stuns you with every breath. Although it may feel like a heavy burden. Though it may seem like you can't escape the fog that smothers you. It will teach you.

Heartbreak shows you how beautifully, how deeply you can love. That is nothing to be ashamed of. Loss makes you appreciate the moments, that once seemed insignificant. Anxiety makes you more understanding, more compassionate. 

You may feel the weight of the ache that tugs on your heart as a reminder. The thoughts may creep into your mind and steal you in the dark but you WILL grow through it. It will alter you in some significant way and the pain will shape you into someone stronger. It will define you into the person you were always meant to be. From it, will grow a resilience. A strength you didn't realise you were capable of.

That's the funny thing about it. Time does heal. Beautifully so. We have this unnoticed power in the pit of us that alights when we burn out. Caterpillar to butterfly, we adapt. We change. We grow.
You are doing beautifully. Don't give up yet.
Better times are coming.

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